Interviewing IR - Nightmare Vision

HH (struggles for words): …
IR (taps his foot impatiently): Yeees?
HH: Erm … (coughs) Well, I … erm …
IR: You're interviewing me. Or rather, you're supposed to. You've been sitting here for five minutes saying nothing. Maybe you could start with a few questions? What do you think?
HH: Erm … I guess …
IR: Some journalists make notes before the interviews. You know, they write down their questions so that they know what to ask. See?
HH (rummages frantically through handbag): Oh, I … erm …
IR: You forgot.
HH: Y-yes …
IR: And your recorder? I mean, you didn't plan to write down my answers in shorthand? Especially as you don't seem to have anything to write on you?
HH: A recorder? Oh …!
IR: I see. Anyway … (helpfully) You could ask me something about my new book.
HH: Oh, right! … So … There's a new book, then?
IR (rolls eyes): I thought that's why we were here!
HH: Oh. Right. Erm …
IR: Just ASK me something! Anything!
HH: Erm … So … You like … erm … whisky, eh?
IR: Next question will be about my favourite colour, then?!
HH: Oh! That's … Well, yes, if you like …
IR: That was meant to be a joke.
HH: Ah! I see! Haha! Funny!
IR (rubs his temples): Someone'd better get me out of here. Now!